the scene: me with my freshly cooked veggie buffalo wings. extra spicy. this conversation was in spanish, but one day we will be able to have a conversation like this in english too.
elias: oooooh! those look good. they smell good too.
me: yes, these are my spicy vegetarian meat that i bought at the store, remember?
elias: i remember. can i try one?
me: no, you hate them. you tried them last time, and they are really spicy.
elias: please? just a taste? just a little taste? like a corner?
me: look, it's not that i'm unwilling to share, it's that i KNOW you hate these.
elias: i'm serious, it won't be very much, just a tiny taste.
(elias rips off said corner -- keep in mind, that's the SPICIEST part of the veggie buffalo wing, because it's mostly the outer coating. ten seconds elapse)
elias: HOLY MOLY! Oh my gosh! that is SO SPICY.
me: (seriously mad.) Elias, I TOLD you, now, cut it out and get out of here.
elias: i know, i know.
lord help me if we have a kid, and it's a boy. like him.